3 min read
breakfast is lovley and arguing about what should be in a breakfast is fun.
This isn't about ceral, or toast(though toast should be included with a full breakfast), this is about real breakfasts. I think real breakfasts begin around cooking eggs? things you take time to eat. Meals.
Allright, let's begin at the begining, and say cooked tomatos are the devil. They literally will take your soul and subject it to eternal torment if you let them. Leave cooked tomatos out of your breakfast.
Unless you're scrambling them into eggs, or with other vegetables , that's fine.
Incidentally, you need vegetables in a breakfast. Spinach is great. Mushrooms must have garlic with them, because they're there to clean the pallete. Potatos aren't really vegetables but you should cook them with chorrizo(boil them, with vinegar, then fry them on really hot cast iron, with the chorrizo). And beans should be in there, because tomatos have a function, and some fruity sweetness is needed, just not in the form of literal satan.
And yes, fried potatos AND hash browns are nessecary. because you have a lot of grease and baked hash browns soak it up and with it the flavor and stop things getting too greasy. you've got to compose your breakfast.
and a composition needs somthing to ground it- which is the meat. breakfast is weird, it's normaly the carbs that ground a thing and the meat that stands out. in breakfast, the veg bring the strong tasts and the meat makes a delicious greasy background. Eggs pallete cleanse, and carbs do...somthing i'm not sure of.
Sausages, and bacon, are important. they should be cheapish(sainsburies decentish ones are a++) and you should fry the bacon and grill the sausages(over the hash browns).
Don't you dare ignore fried bread, and toast, to mop up everything.
Let's talk about how that breaks down.
- boil a pan of vinegary water. stick cubed potatos in it.
- turn on your oven, stick the hash browns and sausages in. Pierce your sausages, you aren't a confused oxbridge grad trying to figure out which end of a spactula goes in the pan, you're an acutal human who's cooked before.
- heat up a MASSIVE CAST IRON THING (frying pan, or griddle if you're fancy). fry your bacon. Stick it in the oven, covered
- chuck your mushrooms and a lot of garlic into the pan, fry them to shit. With butter, you fool. wilt a bit of spinach in with them, Oven it when it's done.
- Chorrizo, fry it till it's shrivled and hard and juicy inside and then chuck your potatos in there with more cheap ass oil and fry them really hot till they're crispy. Pull them out.
- Eggs are tricky. If you're frying them(which is great and valid, do them now. Scrambled or poached are your other options. )
- fry your eggs to shit, fry them hot, and leave them runny on top. This breakfast is worth poisoning yourself for.
- more oil, fry the bread. Do the toast. Stick it on plates. Eat.
I have more opinions. and have missed some things I'm sure(oops, beans), but I'm hungry so I'm going to eat some cereal.
vegan shit? IDK how but sure. Cheap shit? this is a impractical stupid shitpost. Practicalities? meet window.